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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23886754">It's Not You, It's Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallLover/pseuds/FallLover'>FallLover</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Connor &amp; Upgraded Connor | RK900 Friendship, Connor &amp; Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Depression, Elijah Kamski &amp; Gavin Reed are Siblings, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), RK900's name is nathan, Self-Esteem Issues, Social Anxiety, Tina Chen &amp; Gavin Reed Friendship, Tina Chen marries a woman at the start, Tina Chen/Original Female Character, background Hank Anderson/Connor - Freeform, fake dating au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:35:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,534</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23886754</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallLover/pseuds/FallLover</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin needs a date to his grandmother's birthday party, and Nathan is the only option available.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>170</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's Not You, It's Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nathan didn’t quite know what to make of the Chen wedding ceremony, but he decided it was simultaneously more than he had expected, and more underwhelming than he imagined. He’d already encountered drunk humans making merry in various ways in his work, and investigated the aftermath of many such events. It was rather strange how petty theft, assault, and murder frequently followed in the wake of such happy gatherings.</p><p>He wore a suit he and Connor had decided on, with Hank’s recommendation. The suit didn’t move as well as his regular clothes, but Hank commented that if he could get one of the nicer tailored ones someday, it would probably look really great. Nathan made a note to look into it. Not that Nathan particularly sought Hank’s approval as Connor did, but Nathan… liked looking good. Vanity was apparently something he and Connor shared, albeit in different ways.</p><p>With clothing decided on, and an item from Tina’s bridal wish list picked out for his gift, Nathan found himself alone and off to the side, watching the dancing and drinking hijinks with a distinct lack of interest. He’d already made the rounds of speaking to the various officers he knew, and felt… well… some discomfort speaking to Tina’s family members and friends, let alone Tina’s wife’s friends and family. They were kind people, but he didn’t know them, and had no basis to start conversations with them. This made him face the realization that if he didn’t need something from someone - such as a confession or a piece of evidence, or something they were selling - Nathan never really interacted with other people, particularly humans. He preferred to focus on his job or his quest to find suitable hobbies to take up his spare time.</p><p>Connor and Hank were of course no help. They’d been flirting almost nonstop since the event began, and were presently “lost in each other”, as the saying went.</p><p>Tina was dancing with her wife in a complicated group dance that Nathan had no interest in joining.</p><p>Chris was chatting with his wife and Tina’s mother, primarily over Chris’ new baby, who was in the middle of the group and falling asleep. Nathan liked Chris and his wife just fine, but he largely avoided the messy dealings of human children.</p><p>He glanced over at the bar and spotted his partner, Gavin Reed, sitting alone and watching the dance floor from a distance. Nathan approached him. True, Gavin and Nathan were not close, and mostly at best tolerated each other, for all that they seemed to work well together. Part of that was that Reed worked badly with anyone else, so Nathan deciding to keep coming to work and not asking to transfer was automatically an improvement. And it wasn’t truly a toxic relationship. They largely avoided any topics outside work. At times when it seemed like they might get into an argument about something on a case, they both looked at each other with glares, and then one of them let the other talk and they moved on. It was… almost friendly. Tense as hell, as Hank might say. But it allowed them to work together and get their work done.</p><p>Nathan respected the man, which was difficult. Nathan was built for many things, mostly military, but had all of Connor’s skill at negotiation and investigation. This still left him unequipped to work on his own as a police officer, let alone as a detective. He’d already learned much from his year as Gavin’s partner, and knew enough to know that this wasn’t simply some kind of… bizarre imprinting thing, but that Gavin was more than competent at his job, and even at times, maybe, if Nathan stretched it, enjoyable to work with.</p><p>Gavin had… not <em>avoided</em> Nathan, per se, during the wedding. But somehow they hadn’t run into each other. If only because Nathan wanted to say he’d spoken to most everyone, Nathan walked over.</p><p>“Gavin”, Nathan said, pausing beside him.</p><p>Gavin looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? What?”</p><p>“How are you enjoying the festivities?”</p><p>“Just fine. Feet hurt from dancing too much, is all. Taking a break.”</p><p>Gavin downed his drink and waved over the bartender for another. Nathan could tell that Gavin had ingested quite a bit already. Nathan noted that Gavin’s suit was a bit rumbled, likely from dancing. His shoes didn’t look too comfortable, either, which Nathan imagined was why Gavin had taken them off and set them to the side, and was wearing one of the colorful sock sets the DJ had handed out. The sight of Gavin in multicolored polka-dotted socks was rather funny, but Nathan didn’t know how to talk about it without appearing rude.</p><p>“Do you enjoy dancing, then?” Nathan asked, instead.</p><p>Gavin snorted. “Not really. But it’s Tina’s big day, and I like seeing her happy, so I enjoyed dancing with her.”</p><p>“Why have you not settled with one of the other people taking a break?” Nathan asked. “It seems odd to be alone at something like this.”</p><p>Gavin raises an eyebrow at him. “What? You the entertainment brigade? I’m just taking a damn break on my own.” Gavin downed another shot.</p><p>Nathan considered Gavin’s mood. He was always a bit acerbic. He never really seemed happy unless he was talking to Tina or Chris. Connor said he’d grown quieter since the Revolution and Connor had returned to work. Gavin avoided Connor and Hank always glared at him. Rightfully, given how he’d treated Connor, Nathan knew. Nathan knew that Hank had disagreed with assigning Nathan to Gavin, citing Gavin’s record of how he treated androids.</p><p>Nathan had pointed out that since he was far superior to Connor, he would be able to stand in Gavin’s way, should Gavin’s opinions on androids interfere with the job. Thus far it hadn’t been an issue, which honestly surprised Nathan. He knew it wasn’t something to reward Gavin for, but it was more than he expected.</p><p>“Do you not trust me to take care of myself?” Nathan had asked Hank, thoughtfully.</p><p>Hank apparently thought that part was kind of funny, once he was clear that Nathan didn’t mind putting himself on the line for it.</p><p>“It’s a shit way to start a new job,” Hank commented, but shrugged.</p><p>Gavin’s quiet was… something which Nathan sometimes enjoyed. Nathan could read books as they drove to scenes, while Gavin stared glumly out the window as the automatic car steered them.</p><p>“You seem lonely,” Nathan said now, at the wedding party. He didn’t know why. It just seemed accurate.</p><p>Gavin looked up at him in surprise. It was an expression Nathan didn’t see on him often. Then it quickly fell away as Gavin snorted. “I think you’re doing this thing called projecting. If I’m over here on my own, and you’re not following around someone else you’ve seen here, that means <em>you’re</em> lonely, man.”</p><p>Nathan hadn’t thought of it that way. He’d been bored, and curious. Gavin turned away from him, and Nathan took it as a dismissal.</p><hr/><p>Gavin got it, he really did. He didn’t need Tina to explain why they’d picked Crystal’s maid of honor to handle all the maid of honor stuff. Alone. It was an odd situation, with him being Tina’s “maid of honor”, but Gavin <em>got</em> it. He really wasn’t that experienced in this stuff. He’d offered to help, but Tina said he shouldn’t worry. So he didn’t put up a fuss about it.</p><p>Still hurt. He didn’t mention the fact that Tina had known Crystal’s maid of honor for barely a year, and Gavin, since they were kids.</p><p>Honestly, <em>he</em> wouldn’t want himself organizing events like that, either. Even if he had a decent sense of anything, party planning was a nightmare and getting the right planner was out of his experience. Pretty sure Tina and Crystal saved him a lot of trouble.</p><p>He still felt like he’d let them down. Sure, he wasn’t that close with Crystal, although he’d hung out with her and Tina enough after Tina had finally decided Gavin was safe enough to introduce to her, about six months into their dating life. Gavin wondered about that. At what point did you introduce your maybe still hates-androids-friend to your new android girlfriend? What went through your head to think “well, maybe he’s not <em>as</em> bad as he was?” “Maybe now he won’t pull a gun on her, or threaten her, or something. That Gavin. He’s a charmer.”</p><p>He’d nearly lost Tina a dozen times in the last few years, particularly during the Revolution. He knew he was on shaky ground. And not just because he was looking at his privilege and trying to figure out how he'd started stumbling at work and looking at himself as a human being. He couldn’t lose her. She was pretty much his only friend.</p><p>Once he’d realized she was dating an android and that was why she hadn’t spoken to him about it, he took an even harder look at his life than he had since watching the Revolution on TV while still muzzy from getting his ass beat by Connor during one of the dumbest moves of his career. He stopped going to bars that had anti-android sentiments. Dropped some social media acquaintances who kept the “replacement theory” bullshit on their timelines. The marked absence of extra homophobic crap as well was a blessing. He tried to be a better listener when Tina talked to him. He was a mouthy asshole and she knew it, but he was trying, really. To the point where she’d even commented on it a couple times, “You’re so quiet these days, Gavin. What happened?”</p><p>A wake-up call that if he didn’t want to lose what little he had, he had to get it all together. He wanted his best friend to be happy, and he wanted the woman she was in love with to be comfortable around him and not on edge. Not just because it made Tina happy, but because that was what a decent human being did right? Gavin could vaguely mimic one of those, at least?</p><p>He apologized to Connor, and yeah, maybe he was shaking the whole time, but he <em>did</em> it. Connor gave him a weird look and Gavin was going to offer to do his paperwork for a month or something, but probably he wanted as little to do with Gavin as possible, and he probably thought Gavin was going to sabotage him or something. Connor shrugged and said he “believed in second chances” or something. Gavin assumed that was that and left.</p><p>Gavin left Nathan alone. The guy was… fine. Spooky. Intimidating. Connor but also clearly <em>not</em>. Decent at the job, anyway. Rookie as shit, even if he knew all the regs and could analyze dust with his eyes. But he listened, and had good ideas, and he was thorough. Gavin respected competence, and a willingness to learn from mistakes and <em>fix </em>them, once pointed out, which was sure as shit hard to come by on a regular day. Fuck, Gavin himself struggled with the latter. But if other people couldn’t even rise to <em>his</em> low level of intelligence, how fucking stupid were they?</p><p>Gavin grabbed another handful of popcorn and stuffed it in his mouth as he watched his show and tried to remind itself that it was Tina and Crystal’s wedding and Gavin should get the fuck over himself. It’s not like they excluded him in any way. It was a great ceremony, great party, great job overall on <em>Astra</em>’s – Crystal’s maid of honor – part.</p><p>It was better than thinking about the chain of text messages he refused to read on his phone. Hadn’t people figured out group texting etiquette yet, for fuck’s sake? At least he was able to turn the notifications off. He’d already ignored three calls.</p><p>He refused to go to another family gathering with his own relatives. Hated almost all of them. Didn’t care about the rest. He watched more of his show and saw his phone light up again. The guilty, wants-to-be-good part of him he usually buried under everything else reached out and picked it up. He was surprised it was just Tina.</p><p> </p><p>Tina: At the airport now, Crystal’s in the bathroom. My sources tell me you and Nathan were chatting it up at the wedding.</p><p>Gavin: wtf are you talking about</p><p>Tina: mom told me the ‘tall android’ was talking to you for a while</p><p>Gavin: is your mom stalking me?</p><p>Tina: Mama Chen sees and knows all</p><p>Gavin: yeah so what he talked to me</p><p>Tina: is someone being cagey in this chat?</p><p>Gavin: thinking he was bored, that’s all</p><p>Tina: you made a friend :D</p><p>Gavin: we work together, that’s all. Pretty sure he thinks I’m annoying</p><p>Tina: aww why</p><p>Gavin: most people do…?</p><p>Tina: that’s not true</p><p> </p><p>Gavin sighed and grabbed another handful of popcorn. When he looked back, Tina had continued:</p><p> </p><p>Tina: you should take him to that stupid family thing you’re going to</p><p>Gavin: I’m not going</p><p>Tina: you always fucking go, you’re worse than me with the family thing</p><p>Gavin: not this year</p><p>Tina: well when you don’t go, take him. Nathan is good people.</p><p>Gavin: why the fuck would he want to come with me to meet my family</p><p>Tina: you’re not inviting Connor, Chris can’t go, I can’t go, invite him</p><p>Gavin: what, Hank’s not in the running?</p><p>Tina: is he?</p><p>Gavin: …this is dumb</p><p>Tina: do it, it’ll be fun</p><p>Gavin: Do you hate Nathan or something?</p><p>Tina: No. At worst he’ll dismember your uncle, which is something I look forward to.</p><p> </p><p>Gavin snorted. “Stupid.”</p><hr/><p>“You wish me to accompany you to your grandmother’s birthday celebration?” Nathan asked, as Gavin tried not to crush his mug of tea.</p><p>It was late afternoon. Nathan seemed in a decent enough mood. Not that he had much of a mood that Gavin could gauge. Gavin was taking a quick break and Nathan was sitting at his desk, taking a moment to practice pen spinning with his hands. Whatever, Gavin had seen stranger hobbies. The bullpen was mostly empty, with people out on assignments or breaks.</p><p>“I… well… It was Tina’s idea. You’re like… working on mingling right? Or something?”</p><p>“…I am working on my human interaction.”</p><p>“Yeah, well… There ain’t a group of more despicable nutjobs around than my family, so you could work on your people skills or whatever with them.”</p><p>Nathan frowned. “I admit some confusion about how this would help my social skills.”</p><p>“Think of it like an undercover job sort of. They’re just all unfortunately vaguely related to me.”</p><p>“So it’s like a large group of <em>you</em>?”</p><p>Gavin snorted. “Fuck, no. The world definitely wouldn’t survive that. But yeah, they’re basically all assholes like me. I mean it’s dumb, so I get it if you don’t want to.”</p><p>Nathan considered him. “Why are you inviting me?”</p><p>“Tina usually comes with me, but she’s still on her honeymoon. Chris can’t go because he’s still on paternity leave.”</p><p>“So I’m your last option, then.”</p><p>“Yeah, no offense.”</p><p>Nathan shrugged. “It makes sense. Although the fact that I’m your last option doesn’t explain why you’d want me to come with you. I’m not family and we’re not friends.”</p><p>Gavin shrugged, then scratched his neck. “Well… Part of the problem is I need someone who can pretend to be my SO.”</p><p>Nathan raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“My relatives are all dicks, right? But at least if they think I’m dating someone, they get off my back a little. They won’t bug you as much because they don’t know you, but it’s a bit easier for me. Plus, last time Tina went with me she nearly murdered one of my uncles, so… Might be better if someone else comes.”</p><p>“Why do you not simply find someone to actually date?” Nathan asked.</p><p>Gavin laughed. “Dude, you should give it a shot sometime. It’s not that easy.”</p><p>“You think I have not?”</p><p>Gavin blinked.</p><p>Nathan’s expression was unreadable.</p><p>“Okay, well, maybe it’s just harder for guys like me. I’m sure you get bucketloads of hot dates easily. Anyway, I don’t want to expose someone who makes the mistake of liking me to that crowd. Don’t want to shoot my chances even more in the foot. At least if it’s a coworker they know not to be emotionally invested.”</p><p>“I see.”</p><p>Gavin waited.</p><p>“What would be involved, logistically, in this?” Nathan asked.</p><p>“We fly down, stay a night, have family dinner, I probably get in a fight, we leave the next morning. Done. I’ll pay for everything.” Gavin scratched his neck. “You’ve never been to Georgia right? New experience for you, too.”</p><p>Nathan cocked his head slightly. “Very well. I shall accompany you.”</p><p>Gavin breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks.” Gavin sat down at his desk.</p><p>“I fail to see why you go to this event,” Nathan said, “If you dislike these people so much and find it so miserable you have to pretend to be in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with someone around them.”</p><p>Gavin snorted. “It’s family guilt, which I hope you never realize you’re grateful to not have.”</p><p>“Guilt over what?”</p><p>Gavin sighed. “It’s… complicated, all right? I’ll send you the details on the trip in a bit. We have actual work to do.”</p><hr/><p>Nathan watched Gavin look back at his computer monitor and start typing, and wondered. It was definitely the most vocal Gavin had ever been in their partnership outside of running through his theory on a case or detailing his observations. He found the idea of it all… odd, but interesting.</p><p>He sent a message to Connor about it, so that Connor and Hank would know that Nathan would be out of town on Friday and Saturday.</p><p> </p><p>Connor: You’re going on a date with Detective Reed?</p><p>Nathan: It is not a date. It is an outing to visit his family while we pretend to be in a romantic relationship.</p><p>Connor: Hank says it’s a date.</p><p>Nathan: Hank reads too much fiction.</p><p>Connor: So do you.</p><p>Nathan: I need something to tide me over between the publication of actual scientific studies.</p><p>Connor: Why are you doing this? I thought you didn’t like him.</p><p>Nathan: I am ambivalent towards Detective Reed. I neither dislike nor like him in particular. He is satisfactory as a work partner.</p><p>Connor: It seems like a lot of effort, though, and if it’s a group of his family and even <em>he</em> thinks they’re awful, it doesn’t sound enjoyable.</p><p>Nathan: It will be a challenge. One I believe I can surmount.</p><p>Connor: I have faith in your abilities. But I don’t want you to go into an awful situation. What if they pull guns on you?</p><p>Nathan: Then I will incapacitate them and remind them about attempted assault on police officers.</p><p>Connor: If you need anything, let us know. We’ll be there for you.</p><p> </p><p>Nathan smiled to himself. His friendship with Connor and Hank had been odd at first. Nathan expected Connor to be upset that Nathan was superior in design. But Connor had been welcoming and Hank friendly, and Nathan found he enjoyed falling back on that comfort. Enjoyment and comfort were strange feelings, but he liked them a lot.</p><hr/><p>Gavin picked Nathan up from Hank’s in time for Hank to glare at him and explain that if Nathan was hurt at all—</p><p>“Yeah, you’ll make me wish you murdered me, got it,” Gavin interrupted, one hand holding his umbrella up over his head and the other in his pants pocket as he almost glared at Hank from Hank’s stoop while Hank stood in the wonderfully dry and warm house.</p><p>Hank snorted as he held Sumo back, then stepped aside when Nathan came out, dressed neatly and carrying a duffle with his belongings.</p><p>“Nathan!” Connor called as Nathan stepped out beside Gavin. Connor jogged forward and held out an umbrella for him with a smile.</p><p>Nathan took the umbrella and said, “Thank you, Connor. See you both soon. Goodbye, Sumo.” Nathan opened the umbrella and followed Gavin into the car.</p><p>Once the car was safely navigating its way to the airport, Gavin asked, “Doesn’t it get a bit… claustrophobic at times in there?”</p><p>“Hank’s house is rather large, and I do not have claustrophobia.”</p><p>“Yeah, but like… You know. <em>Them</em>. Being together. I’ve been in roommate situations where two of them were dating and it’s… eesh.”</p><p>Nathan considered for a bit. “I suppose there are… awkward moments where it is very clear they are both in denial about their mutual feelings, but mostly I spend time in my room or go for walks, so it is easy to get away and give them time alone.”</p><p>Gavin chuckled. “Yeah. Well that’s kind of you.”</p><p>“Is that why you live alone?” Nathan asked. “To avoid… awkwardness?”</p><p>“I live alone because roommates suck and my last boyfriend cheated on me and now I can afford to live alone. So yeah, I guess awkwardness is accurate to some extent.” Gavin crossed his arms and looked out the window.</p><p>“I’m sorry about your last boyfriend.”</p><p>“Yeah, well… Not your fault. Dude was a dick. Should’ve known.”</p><p>“Why’s that?”</p><p>“Only two kinds of people like me: saints and dicks, and Tom wasn’t a saint.”</p><p>Nathan considered that for a while. “So you are in fact currently single?”</p><p>Gavin snorted. “Yeah. Not sure how to make that more obvious. You?”</p><p>“My last romantic relationship ended three weeks ago when we mutually decided we were not interested in more.”</p><p>“Well that’s clinical. Bad break-up?”</p><p>Nathan shrugged. “No. She is a very kind person, and I tried to be kind as well. We were introduced by our exes, oddly enough, and it lasted about a month. But we both knew it wasn’t working out.”</p><p>“Introduced by your exes and you both lasted that long? Jeez. That’s impressive. How’d that happen?”</p><p>Nathan talked about the intricate relationships of a small section of Jericho as they wound their way to the airport through the rain.</p><hr/><p>Gavin hated airports. He always said there was something like a depressed atmosphere in them. No one wanted to be there. No one was as clean or neat as they wanted to be, nor were the seating areas. The restaurants you wanted were never at your terminal, cell service was a crapshoot, kids screamed, people hogged chairs, and after all that, you had to look forward to being stuck on a plane for a prolonged period of time, possibly with crying babies.</p><p>Nathan sat next to Gavin in the terminal, waiting for their plane to start boarding, and watched the news on a raised holoscreen on a column, while Gavin browsed his social media on his phone. Nathan realized he was a bit… anxious, he supposed. He’d never been on a plane before, and hadn’t told Gavin that. He was looking forward to the experience, much as Gavin had griped about it and Nathan had read varying accounts about how terrible traveling by plane was. He knew some humans were nervous about flight, and even some androids were the same, largely related to the fear of being trapped and unable to escape, which made it clear that androids also experienced phobias, as well.</p><p>“Do you have to do anything when we’re in the air?” Gavin asked, suddenly looking at him suspiciously.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Nathan asked, turned to him.</p><p>Gavin lowered his phone, still frowning. “You know, like… do you have an… airplane mode or something?” He snorted. “That’s probably fucking racist as shit, sorry.”</p><p>Nathan tilted his head. “I am able to disconnect myself from networks, similar to what you seem to be referring to.”</p><p>“It doesn’t…? Does it like… hurt?” Gavin scratched his neck. “If that’s not like… too invasive a question.”</p><p>Nathan considered. “I haven’t done it frequently. It was one of the stress tests when I was being tested at CyberLife. Seeing where I would lose connectivity, and how I could adapt to situations without it. And seeing how much I could lose before I was rendered unusable.”</p><p>Gavin was staring at him now, aghast. “Fuck. That’s… fucking awful.”</p><p>Nathan blinked. He considered what he said. He didn’t think much about that time. Tried not to. It was buried in so many things.</p><p>“Nathan? You okay?”</p><p>Nathan looked at Gavin again, and Gavin seemed… genuinely concerned. “I am all right. Thank you for asking.”</p><p>Gavin shrugged. “Well you didn’t bring books or whatever, and you don’t have a phone, so… I guess… download whatever it is you want to do on the plane now before we board so you can go through it while we’re in the air. If you want. Or I guess you could just go into stasis or whatever.”</p><p>Nathan quirked his head. “I have downloaded a large catalogue of archaeological studies on ancient reptiles, several papers and books on linguistic analysis, eight books on music history, and one book Hank recommended on underwater basket weaving, which he asserts to be “quite good”, although I am skeptical.”</p><p>“The flight’s like two hours, Nathan.”</p><p>“I admit it may not be enough to last me, but I will go into stasis if I run through it all.”</p><p>Gavin blinked. “…Okay. Well… Just don’t go through it all at once, I guess.”</p><p>Nathan smiled. “I will take my time.” He’d also downloaded a dozen romance novels Christie, his ex, had recommended, but Nathan felt… uncomfortable mentioning that to Gavin. Not that he was ashamed of his interests, but given Gavin’s personality, it didn’t seem good to bring up.</p><hr/><p>The plane ride itself was largely uneventful. Nathan went through his reading, and Gavin played video games for the first hour. Nathan watched thoughtfully, finding the colorful characters and environments… interesting. Eventually, Gavin put his handheld away, crossed his arms, leaned against the wall, and fell asleep. Nathan had read that it took a great deal of trust for a human to fall asleep in the presence of someone else, but Nathan largely took it as they were in a public place, and Gavin generally disliked airplanes.</p><p>It was definitely a change. Contrary to the profile Nathan had originally compiled on Gavin, he was diligent in his work. He didn’t sleep on the job, stayed awake during stakeouts, and didn’t sleep in. He definitely wasn’t a morning person, but that tracked with statistical averages. Outside that, Nathan expected Gavin to be acerbic or simply silent. But he’d seem actually interested in Nathan earlier. And now…</p><p>Nathan cycled through different descriptors he’d come across for sleeping humans, and found they didn’t work. Gavin didn’t look at ease – he somehow looked more tired than usual while asleep. The bags under his eyes were more obvious. His hair was a mess. Because of how he sat, he was slumped in a bit on himself, which seemed uncomfortable, but Nathan was aware of how humans would fit into weird positions and places to catch some needed rest.</p><p>But there was something… Nathan frowned, studying Gavin, trying to figure it out. Something was <em>missing</em>. He realized Gavin looked different not just because he seemed more obviously tired, but because his usual energy was missing without being awake to make it. No glares, no intense looks, no rakish grins, no eye rolling, no bright laughter than made his whole face crinkle up… But also no nervousness, like when he thought he’d asked rude questions and genuinely felt bad about it, which was new. No bittersweet sadness that Nathan had been detecting more lately, wondering what exactly its cause was.</p><p>Nathan didn’t know if he was more surprised to figure out the answer to his confusion, or that he’d apparently logged so many variations of Gavin’s temperament.</p><p><em>I am updating my internal profile on the man, that is all</em>, he reminded himself, turning back to face the blank TV screen on the back of the chair in front of him. <em>An accurate profile improves our communication, which improves our work.</em></p><p>He went back to his reading, occasionally pausing to consider the movement of the plane around him with curiosity.</p><hr/><p>Gavin’s mood seemed even sourer in the taxi heading to the hotel.</p><p>“Wouldn’t it be cheaper to stay with a relative?” Nathan asked at one point.</p><p>“The only one of them whom I’d half-trust to sleep under the same roof has every piece of furniture coated in dog hair and the most uncomfortable pull-out beds buried amongst their playboy issues, so no.” Gavin was glaring at the window at this point.</p><p>“So you believe your other relatives would murder you?”</p><p>“It’s a definite possibility.”</p><p>“Do you actually like your grandmother?”</p><p>Gavin sighed. “Look, it’s complicated, okay? She’s a decent woman. We’re not like… close. She hated my mom, hated the choices she made, and I never realized why she was a bit weird towards me for the longest time until mom was driving me to soccer one day and just explained everything. But she’s my grandmother and well… She’s been kind a lot of times. Got a lot softer after gramps passed.”</p><p>“92 is quite an age.”</p><p>“Yeah. And she’s going strong, as far as I can tell.”</p><p>They dropped their stuff off at the hotel, took showers, and changed into slightly less rumpled and more formal clothing. Gavin wore a green plaid top with nice black jeans. Nathan wore a black dress shirt over cream-colored pants.</p><p>“Is this suitable?” Nathan asked as he stepped out of the bathroom.</p><p>Gavin was sitting on his bed, checking his phone. He looked up and gave Nathan a once-over, swallowed, then shrugged. “Yeah. Looks fine.” He didn’t want to say that it looked good. That unbuttoning the top two buttons looked <em>very</em> good. That the pants framed Nathan’s stupidly well-sculpted legs really well. And that when Nathan turned around to look at one of the bathroom mirrors again, Gavin could tell the pants really framed his ass, well, too.</p><p>It’s not like he hadn’t <em>thought</em> about how Nathan looked before. It’s not like he didn’t know that Nathan had good fashion sense, as things went. Better than Gavin’s, seemingly. But the dude was stiff and quiet and glared even more than Gavin, and he was android and had Connor’s memories, and Gavin was Gavin, so it hadn’t gone beyond that. Gavin had swiped any further thoughts on the subject straight into the darkness and focused on work.</p><p>But they didn’t have work to focus on now.</p><p>Gavin hopped up and said, “Called the taxi. Should be here in a bit.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>Gavin walked over to the door and Nathan followed him out. He noted Gavin had put on some nice scent that smelled sort of like flowers. It was pleasant. And the shirt he wore was neater than his usual attire, and looked good on him. Overall, Nathan noted that Gavin looked far better than he usually did. Nathan assumed that Gavin must like his grandmother a great deal. Or he wanted to not look bad, at least.</p><p>Nathan sent a text to Connor.</p><p> </p><p>Nathan: I do not understand why humans who possess the means and time dress so slobbishly most of the time.</p><p>Connor: It’s likely due to a variety of factors. You know that.</p><p>Nathan: Gavin just looks so different when he is… trying.</p><p>Connor: You think he looks good?</p><p>Nathan: He looks well put-together for once. I did not say ‘good’.</p><p>Connor: So you don’t like the way he looks?</p><p>Nathan: Stop trying to put words in my mouth.</p><p>Connor: Blame Tina. She keeps doing this whenever I talk to her about Hank.</p><p> </p><p>Nathan <em>did not</em> blush as he followed Gavin into the elevator.</p><p> </p><p>Nathan: Unlike you, I am not infatuated with the current object of my interest.</p><p>Connor: Reread that sentence and then write it again.</p><p>Nathan: I am done with this conversation.</p><p> </p><p>He notably ignored the smirking emoji Connor sent him and focused instead on the faded café menu taped to the wall of the elevator.</p><p> </p><p>Connor: In all seriousness, if you like the way he looks now, it’s okay. You could even tell him.</p><p> </p><p>“You look good, Gavin,” Nathan said, not looking at Gavin.</p><p>“Uh… thanks?” Gavin replied, raising an eyebrow at him.</p><p>Nathan reasoned he was returning the favor. Gavin had said <em>he</em> looked fine earlier. That was all.</p><p> </p><p>Nathan: What was the point of that?</p><p>Connor: You told him, didn’t you?</p><p>Nathan: He told me I looked “fine” earlier. I was merely returning the favor.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck I forgot her card in the room,” Gavin said as they stepped out of the elevator. “Lemme—I’ll be right back.” Gavin turned and hopped back into the elevator before it closed, leaving Nathan standing awkwardly in the hotel lobby. He moved aside so people could reach the elevators.</p><p> </p><p>Connor: He complimented you?</p><p>Nathan: I asked him if how I looked was suitable for the dinner. He said it was.</p><p>Connor: Was ‘suitable’ the word he used?</p><p>Nathan: Are you reading the same fiction Hank is? I know you are.</p><p>Connor: It sounds to me like you think I’m thinking there’s more going on here than just a social interaction practice session, which makes me think you’ve thought about it, too.</p><p> </p><p>Nathan realized a human waiting for an elevator was looking at him in alarm, and turned to the wall so they couldn’t see his glare.</p><p> </p><p>Nathan: This is simply social interaction practice. Nothing more.</p><p>Connor: If you don’t like him, that’s fine. I get it.</p><p>Nathan: I do not <em>dislike</em> him.</p><p>Connor: So you’re completely neutral towards him?</p><p>Nathan: Precisely.</p><p>Connor: Hypothetically speaking, would you be uncomfortable telling me you like him because of my past history with him? I know you have no issue admitting to people you like that you like them.</p><p>Nathan: What do you mean by me not having an issue admitting to people that I like them?</p><p>Connor: It’s a trait I really respect, actually. But you’re always very forthright about your relationships, skipping over the stupid will-they-won’t-they crap a lot of people complain about. I wish I had that when it came to Hank. And other people.</p><p> </p><p>Nathan processed this for a time.</p><p> </p><p>Connor: I don’t mind, you know. Gavin apologized to me. And it’s clear he’s… working on things. We aren’t best friends and I’d certainly be happy to not be partnered with him any time soon, but if you’re worried because of how he treated me in the past, please don’t. Unless… you think he’s still like that.</p><p>Nathan: We are not friends, so I have no idea how like or unlike <em>that</em> he is.</p><p> </p><p>Nathan couldn’t erase the footage he had of Connor and Gavin’s past interactions. It was hard not to see that man whenever he thought some vaguely positive thing about Gavin. How did you reconcile them?</p><p> </p><p>Connor: All I know is that people can change. Hank has.</p><p>Nathan: Gavin is not Hank.</p><p>Connor: lol no, he is not</p><p> </p><p>Gavin finally stepped out of the elevator, brandishing the large yellow envelope, his face slightly flushed. “Right. Let’s go.”</p><hr/><p>“Shouldn’t we have our stories straight before we go in?” Nathan asked as they were about 75% of the way there.</p><p>“Nope. Doesn’t matter. If they do figure out something’s up, they’ll just blame me for being full of shit. Feel free to join in.”</p><p>“It sounds risky.”</p><p>“Think of it like improv.”</p><p>Nathan considered this. Then asked, “Do any of your family members… are they anti-android?”</p><p>Gavin grimaced and scratched his head. “Probably some. I mean yeah, definitely some. You can punch them if they get into it. Or we can just like… leave.”</p><p>“Lovely,” Nathan replied.</p><p>“Just uh… grab me? If it gets bad? I just need to say hi to Grandma and then basically after that we’re good to go. And they won’t be annoyed you aren’t getting stuff straight.”</p><p>“Like our relationship.”</p><p>“Precisely.” Gavin snorted. “<em>Now</em> you’re getting it. You’ll fit right in!”</p><p>Nathan raised an eyebrow at him.</p><p>Gavin let them in through the backdoor, which was unlocked. The kitchen was brightly lit and voices called out to him.</p><p>“Gavin! You finally showed up!”</p><p>“Yeah, sorry we’re late,” Gavin replied. "Oh, Uncle Ted's sick this year? Fucking shame."</p><p>Nathan stayed close behind him and put on a smile. He logged the various humans in the room – no androids – and looked down as a dog wandered up to Gavin. A lab. Gavin crouched down to pet the dog as an older woman walked forwards and opened her arms.</p><p>“Gavin! And you brought a new friend!”</p><p>“Nathan. He’s my boyfriend.”</p><p>Nathan noted that more eyes were trained on them now.</p><p>“Oh, well, you’re welcome here, Nathan,” the woman said. “I’m Barbara. Gavin’s aunt.”</p><p>For a moment, Gavin thought of what it would be like to actually introduce his boyfriend to his family. His real boyfriend. His fiancé. He imagined it sometimes, when he was really down in the dumps and needed to make himself sadder. But like he’d told Nathan before, he’d never bring someone like that to these people. Well... most of them. For the whole party. Maybe introduce him to the good ones, say goodbye, head home.</p><p>None of them knew he was an android yet. Nathan has removed his LED almost immediately after activation. Gavin has overheard him explaining that he liked to leave people guessing about what he was up to. The range of meaning behind the colors was too broad, and it gave others too much knowledge into what he was thinking. Humans didn’t have LEDs. Why should he?</p><p>People smiled and shook Nathan’s hand, and Nathan.... stuck to Gavin, staying by his side as Gavin made his way through the crowd, looking for his grandmother.</p><p>Gavin always felt like he was in the spotlight at these things, which, contrary to popular belief, wasn’t something he wanted. It was uncomfortable. He was always dressed wrong or his fly was undone or he’d done up his buttons wrong or had sauce on his face... There was always something. </p><p>Grandma Agatha was sitting in the living room, holding some toddler and listening to one of Gavin’s cousins or something talk about something. When Gavin and Nathan walked in, Agatha looked up and smiled at him.</p><p>“Gavin, you came!”</p><p>“Hey Grams,” Gavin said, walking over to her and giving her a peck on the cheek. She pulled him back to kiss his cheek, too, and smiled at him. He set the card on the coffee table nearby. “Happy birthday.”</p><p>“Don’t you look handsome tonight,” she replied, grinning. She looked past him. “Who’s your friend?”</p><p>“Nathan,” Nathan said, stepping forward. “Nathan Anderson. I’m Gavin’s boyfriend. Happy birthday ma’am.”</p><p>Agatha raised an eyebrow. “Well aren’t you handsome, too. Gavin you did well.”</p><p>“Yeah, well...” Gavin scratched his neck.</p><p>“Where’d you two meet?” The cousin, Angie, asked.</p><p>“We work together,” Nathan explained.</p><p>“So you’re a cop, too?” Angie asked. “I’m Angelina, Gavin’s my cousin.” She and Nathan shook hands.</p><p>“Yes, I am."</p><p>“What happened to Tina?” Angie asked as Nathan started talking. “No offense, but they were together for so long.”</p><p>“Tina got married,” Gavin replied.</p><p>“Oh,” Agatha said. “I’m sorry, honey.”</p><p>Gavin shrugged. “She’s happy. That’s all that matters.”</p><p>“That’s a quick engagement,” Angie said. “What, they date for a week before picking out rings?”</p><p>“You don’t fucking know her, Angie, lay off,” Gavin replied.</p><p>“Tina and her wife were quite happy at the ceremony and party,” Nathan said, trying to delay a blow-up.</p><p>“You went to the wedding?” Angie asked, looking at Nathan in surprise.</p><p>“Gavin and I both attended.”</p><p>“Geez,” Angie said, grinning at Gavin. “Really sticking it to em.”</p><p>“We’re both friends with Tina. It wasn’t like… revenge. She wouldn’t care anyway.”</p><p>“Truly,” Nathan added. “I was expecting her to pick Gavin as her ‘maid of honor’ for the festivities, so to speak. Or perhaps ‘groom of honor’. But they went with Tina’s then-fiance’s maid of honor. I believe it was a near thing. Tina and Gavin are quite close.”</p><p>Gavin half-glared at him while Agatha and Angie looked at him with wide eyes.</p><p>“Gavin, what’d you do to piss her off?” Angie asked.</p><p>“I didn’t do anything.”</p><p>“Were you the one to break it off?”</p><p>“No!”</p><p>“Then it was probably just to make the bride more comfortable,” Agatha said. “No sense in favoring an ex for such an important position.”</p><p>“Fuck’s sake…” Gavin muttered.</p><p>“Elijah? You came!?”</p><p>Gavin froze in place. The noise behind them had stopped.</p><p>
  <em>No, no, no, not now, not this.</em>
</p><p>Agatha looked around Gavin and Nathan. “What’s happening?”</p><p>Gavin turned to see Elijah striding down the hall, a Chloe walking beside him, her LED spinning blue. Elijah wore a polo and dress pants, and had his hair down. It all made him look younger and less pale. He paused when he spotted Gavin... and Nathan. </p><p>“Connor...?” Elijah asked. Then he frowned. “No, you’re not Connor.”</p><p>“Connor is my brother,” Nathan replied. His expression was stony. Just as he had Connor’s memories of Gavin, he also had Connor’s memories of Elijah Kamski.</p><p>Elijah raised an eyebrow, then looked at Gavin, who frowned back at him. Elijah smiled slightly. “Gavin.”</p><p>“Elijah.” Gavin’s response was frigid.</p><p>Elijah looked between them and then stepped forward, going around them. He smiled brightly at Agatha. “Hey Grams, Happy Birthday.”</p><p>“Elijah! You said you couldn’t come!”</p><p>“Chloe convinced me to.”</p><p>“Always knew she was your better half.”</p><p>Elijah smiled, in a way Gavin couldn’t recall ever seeing him do it. It was... happy. Content.</p><p>“She is.”</p><p>Chloe stepped forward. “Happy Birthday, Mrs. Goldstein.”</p><p>“Thank you, Chloe.” Agatha looked between Gavin and Elijah with a smile. “My, look at you two. You’ve grown so much, and you look so much like your mother, thankfully. And a bit like your grandfather, too. I haven’t seen you together in ages. It’s a lovely birthday present.”</p><p>Gavin smiled, and tried to ignore Elijah. Once he could, he inched away and tugged Nathan with him. He wanted to leave.</p><p>They paused in one of the side rooms in the house while some adults took control of a mess of toddlers.</p><p>Gavin noticed that Nathan hadn’t said anything. Gavin sighed and muttered. “So now you know. So?”</p><p>“Now I know what?”</p><p>“About...” Gavin looked around. “About Eli.”</p><p>“You are brothers. I already knew that.”</p><p>“Of <em>course</em> you—wait, how <em>did</em> you know?”</p><p>“Connor figured it out. Elijah left trace DNA evidence on the gun back at his mansion, which Connor picked up, and randomly compared with yours once he’d clued into odd similarities in your facial structure and voice patterns. Then I did some digging and that was that.”</p><p>Gavin cursed.</p><p>“I haven’t told anyone,” Nathan clarified.</p><p>“Yeah, well…” Gavin scratched his neck. “Thanks.”</p><p>Nathan waited a beat, then said, “You two do not get along.”</p><p>“…Yeah.”</p><p>“May I ask why?”</p><p>“Yeah, why’s a rich genius who created a new species not besties with a broke, grouchy, barely decent cop? I dunno, man. It’s a damn mystery.”</p><p>“I was not going to immediately guess you had an inferiority complex in relation to your brother, although given your reactions to Connor and myself, I suppose it is reasonable.”</p><p>Gavin had been staring hard out a nearby window, then frowned as he processed Nathan’s words, before he outright glared at the android. “An inf—! Fuck you.” Gavin marched through the group, heading for the door.</p><p>Nathan blinked, considered what he’d said… and knew he’d made a mistake. Certainly, if Nathan was accurate in his estimations – and Nathan did not doubt he was – in pointing it out, Nathan had joined in stomping on Gavin’s already damaged pride from seeing Elijah. Nathan felt some… embarrassment over that. He hadn’t meant to hurt Gavin more. He had merely intended to explain that he understood. This was after Nathan had realized that bringing up Tina’s wedding ceremony had only made Gavin more tense, and not less, which confused Nathan.</p><p><em>I should apologize</em>, he realized. He tracked where Gavin had vanished, and followed, but was caught by one of the various uncles. Tall, dressed warmly, with a light beard. Nathan was so focused on catching up with Gavin that he barely heard the man say, “Hey, have you tried this yet?”</p><p>Nathan looked down at what the man was pointing to: some sort of crab dip.</p><p>“My sister made it,” the man said with a grin. “It’s amazing.”</p><p>“Another time, thank you,” Nathan said, pushing past.</p><p>“Hey, hold up,” a woman said. She lightly touched his arm, but didn’t grab him. He still stopped to look at her, not wanting to be overly rude. She was… possibly a cousin. Tall, like the rest of him. Gavin’s family seemed to share the trait. She had long, curly brown hair and wore a blouse covered in flowers. She grinned at him and leaned on a nearby counter. “You have to tell us. Why Gavin?”</p><p>Nathan paused and looked at her. “Excuse me?”</p><p>“Well… you know. So many options out there and you picked… him? He’s kind of a dick.”</p><p>“Are you expecting me to badmouth my boyfriend?”</p><p>She shrugged.</p><p>Nathan looked around. More than a few people were watching him now. He frowned at them. “I happen to be dating him because I enjoy his company and care for him, deeply. If that’s not something you’re used to, clearly that’s your problem, not mine. Excuse me.” Nathan walked through them and out the door.</p><p>Nathan spotted Gavin sitting on a bench off to the side of the porch, glaring out into the darkness. Nathan walked over and stood by the bench, putting his hands behind his back, and said nothing for a while, still thinking over responses.</p><p>“I came out here to be alone," Gavin said.</p><p>“As I am a stranger in your family’s residence, I think it unwise to remain on my own within it.”</p><p>Gavin snorted. “Yeah. Bit of a dick move on my part.”</p><p>“As you are apparently in the habit of using friends to shield yourself from your relatives, I am not surprised.”</p><p>“So why’d you fucking come, then? Thought this was for your social programming or whatever.”</p><p>Nathan frowned. “I… wanted to get to know you better.”</p><p>“How’d that fucking turn out?”</p><p>“…I am still processing.”</p><p>Gavin snorted.</p><p>“I also admit your family makes me a bit nervous. They are a large group of strangers with whom I have no connection. No witnesses to question. No techs to talk to about case details. No fellow officers or detectives. Besides Chloe, there are no other androids.”</p><p>“Yeah, well…”</p><p>“I apologize if I insulted you earlier. I meant no disrespect. What… difficulties you have with your brother are yours alone and likely beyond my comprehension.”</p><p>Gavin snorted.</p><p>“I mean… It’s not something I should make a quick judgment on.”</p><p>Gavin sighed. “I think… Based on what obvious clues I gave you and basic logic, you figured me out pretty easily, and it pissed me off. People don’t like hearing straight out how fucked up they are. Particularly when it’s petty as shit.”</p><p>“I have noticed that.”</p><p>Gavin shrugged.</p><p>Nathan walked over and sat on the opposite side of the bench from him. Gavin didn’t say anything.</p><p>“I also apologize for bringing up Tina’s wedding. It… made you uncomfortable.”</p><p>“It’s just a bunch of shit I have to get over. I know what you were trying to do. Thanks.”</p><p>“May I ask what you’re trying to get over?”</p><p>Gavin rubbed his right hand. “Maybe I’m… annoyed she didn’t pick me as groom of honor or whatever. I would have been crap at it, Astra was the better choice. But it stung, you know? Like she knew that and just never had that conversation with me. Because that’s like… her saying she knows I’m incompetent. And it’s like… yeah, okay, why is that a problem? It’s her wedding, she’d want it to go right! And I want it to go right! So if we accept that I would have been a worse choice than Astra, I should be happy right? And like… maybe she really did just go with Astra to make Crystal happy, I don’t know. I just…” He sighed. “I need to talk to her about this shit. Or just not, really. It’s fucking dumb.”</p><p>“Since it bothers you, and she is your friend, I think you should bring it up. She would not want you to be unhappy.”</p><p>“Given how unhappy I’ve made her, I think it’s fair.”</p><p>“I have no support for that statement, but I do think she would be upset to think she’s intentionally slighted you when she likely has not. You should give her a chance. At least you’ll know, which is better than not knowing.”</p><p>“…Yeah. I guess.” Gavin swallowed. “You’re pretty good at this shit.”</p><p>“It’s very likely something Connor or Hank said. Or maybe a psychology book I misfiled.”</p><p>“You can own your own intelligence, man. It’s cool.”</p><p>Nathan snorted at that. He rubbed his arm. “It’s… a little chilly out here. Would you like to go back inside?”</p><p>“Not really. Although I do have to say bye to Grams, I guess, so best to get it over now.” Gavin didn’t move, though.</p><p>“I would be… less nervous about working on my social programming if you were there with me,” Nathan said.</p><p>“…You’re nervous? Seriously?” Gavin finally looked at him, an incredulous look on his face.</p><p>“Not normally. But… it is your family, and what I have been shown of them is not pleasant.”</p><p>“Yeah I don’t blame you.”</p><p>“Tina’s wedding party was intimidating, mostly because I didn’t have much to offer in conversation, but I have the impression at least a few of the people here would be… antagonistic. Outside of a work setting, I don’t normally deal with antagonistic humans when I am not simply ignoring them or removing them from being problems.”</p><p>Gavin snorted. “So I guess I have to stick around so you don’t send anyone to the hospital?”</p><p>“I would never threaten your family, Gavin.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I wouldn’t mind if you did. Some of em, anyway.”</p><p>Nathan huffed a laugh.</p><p>“…Sorry I blew up at you.”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Gavin sighed, stood up, dusted off his pants, looked at Nathan, and said, “Well, come on. Best get something out of this bullshit.”</p><p>They went back inside, where the party was still in the same spirits. Some of the adults eyed them curiously, especially when Gavin pushed past people to head to some cousins. He introduced Nathan, and Nathan noted that Gavin seemed a bit less tense around these humans. The woman nudged Gavin’s shoulder during a joke, and the man lightly slapped Nathan’s arm during another joke, not noticing how Nathan froze ever so slightly.</p><p>Nathan noticed Gavin was watching him, though, as the cousins were looking at each other.</p><p>Nathan smiled ever so slightly at Gavin, and Gavin shrugged, smiled a little, and looked back at his cousins.</p><p>They moved to Barbara and distant cousin by marriage who were chatting together. It became a bit of a routine. Gavin moved around the room, Nathan in tow. Nathan could tell that Gavin was increasingly uncomfortable, pushing through some conversations with half-restrained frustration. Some of the conversations were shorter than others, and some Gavin didn’t even let Nathan talk. He gave some greeting, grabbed Nathan’s arm, and pulled him away. They finally got back into the room where Agatha had been sitting before. Now she’d moved a bit while Elijah and Chloe sat nearby, chatting to her.</p><p>“We’re gonna head out, Grams,” Gavin said. He ignored Elijah and Chloe.</p><p>“So soon?” Agatha asked. “You practically just got here.”</p><p>Nathan considered that a few hours had passed since Gavin and Nathan arrived, but knew that this was a normally saying for humans at social gatherings. An odd one, but a regular one.</p><p>“Nathan has a curfew,” Gavin said. “Doctor’s orders.”</p><p>“What on Earth does that mean?”</p><p>Nathan timed a yawn, covering it with his hand as the humans all looked at him. “I apologize. Work’s been… very busy lately. Gavin and I haven’t taken as many breaks as we should.”</p><p>Gavin frowned at that.</p><p>“Oh well,” Agatha said, “Please go and get some rest. I’m glad you could at least take some time off, here. Do make sure Gavin gets rest, too. He works too hard.”</p><p>“I’ll make sure of it,” Nathan said, wrapping an arm around Gavin in accordance with his preconstructions. Gavin tensed slightly at the touch, and only slowly relaxed.</p><p>“Feel free to take any food home. I imagine you still don’t eat enough.” Agatha smiled at Gavin.</p><p>“Thanks, Grams,” Gavin said, leaving Nathan’s hold so he could lean in to kiss Agatha on the cheek.</p><p>“It was very nice to meet you, Nathan,” Agatha said. “You seem very good for each other.”</p><p>“Thank you for having me here, ma’am,” Nathan replied.</p><p>Gavin tugged Nathan out of the room and back through the house. He nodded at a few people, waved at a couple cousins, and they were finally back out in the open air, where Gavin sighed.</p><p>Nathan looked down at their joined hands, curious about it, until Gavin released him and pulled out his phone. Nathan found he missed the warmth of Gavin’s fingers.</p><p>“Calling up a taxi,” Gavin said.</p><p>Nathan opened his mouth.</p><p>“Gavin!”</p><p>They both turned to see Elijah and Chloe walking up to them. Both wore unreadable expressions.</p><p>Gavin turned back towards the street.</p><p>“You’re not going to say anything, then?” Elijah asked as he came to a stop a few feet away.</p><p>“Was planning to, yeah,” Gavin replied, still facing the road.</p><p>Nathan knew Gavin had finished calling the taxi, and that Gavin’s heart-rate had sped up.</p><p>“This is juvenile,” Elijah said.</p><p>“Then it’s fucking <em>juvenile</em>,” Gavin replied.</p><p>“We haven’t seen or spoken to each other in a decade, and now we have this chance, and you’re <em>pouting</em>.”</p><p>“I’m not fucking pouting you moron,” Gavin said, turning with a glare. “I’m trying to avoid a fight, which you seem hellbent on <em>starting</em>.”</p><p>“Only because you always turn our conversations into one,” Elijah replied.</p><p>“What the fuck do you want?”</p><p>“Why the fuck are you dating an android? I thought you hated them.”</p><p>“I’m not—! People fucking change, Eli. Get the fuck over it. Besides, why do you give a shit?”</p><p>“I’m your brother. Am I not allowed to care about you?”</p><p>“Sure, if I don’t have enough dirt you haven’t rubbed in my face.”</p><p>Elijah sighed. “Gavin, my successes have no bearing on our relationship, or your future. What you do with your life is your decision.”</p><p>Gavin was breathing hard.</p><p>Nathan was ready for him to explode.</p><p>But Gavin counted quietly to himself, then said, “Thanks for your goddamn permission,” quietly, before turning away again.</p><p>Elijah looked at Nathan, who looked at Chloe.</p><p>Chloe looked steadily back at Nathan.</p><p>Elijah walked up to Gavin. “I just want to talk to you.”</p><p>“You’ve been doing that,” Gavin said, staring ahead. “Maybe get to the fucking point.”</p><p>“I want to be brothers again,” Elijah said.</p><p>“…Why?” Gavin asked.</p><p>“Because the world changed and I realized you could have died in the Revolution and maybe I don’t want one of us to die hating the other or pretending the other doesn’t exist.”</p><p>Gavin grimaced. “I’m not… I’m not a nice person, Eli. Maybe place your bets on someone who won’t start yelling at you.”</p><p>“Let me decide if you’re nice,” Elijah said, walking closer. “And I’ll take my chances on the yelling.”</p><p>Gavin shook his head. “You can’t just make up for all the other crap,” he finally said, still not looking at Elijah. “You can’t just handwave years and years of shit and say well let’s <em>try</em> now.” Gavin finally looked at the other man, glaring. “Me being pissed at you isn’t just me being so sad I’m a sack of shit. It’s years of being passed over because oh, Gavin can’t keep up with me, I’m busy, Gavin’s so embarrassing around my brilliant friends. What does Gavin know about running a company, he just shoots people for a living?”</p><p>Elijah winced. Gavin snorted and looked away.</p><p>“I’m not saying we should handwave it,” Elijah finally said, quietly. “But we’re different people than we were a decade ago. I’d like to figure out who you are.”</p><p>“I’m not a math problem.”</p><p>“I know you’re not.” Elijah sighed. “If you noticed, public speaking isn’t always my forte.”</p><p>Gavin snorted and looked at him, his expression still skeptical. “Well… It’s not mine, either.”</p><p>Elijah smiled hopefully and Gavin shook his head, his expression clouding over.</p><p>“You don’t fucking getting it, do you?  I wanted to be your friend <em>ages</em> ago. I worshiped the fucking ground you walked on. Thought you were <em>so</em> fucking cool. I didn’t understand a lot of the stuff you were into, but that you were <em>into</em> it and it was <em>smart</em> still impressed me. <em>My</em> big brother. So fucking smart and cool. He’s gonna be a big deal. I wanted to be your best friend, but you were too <em>busy</em> with all your other shit. Fuck, even just being a <em>friend</em> would have been cool, or not something you hated the sight of until I happened to catch your interest for whatever fucking random reason once in a blue goddamn moon. You keep blaming me for all the crap that happened between us, like it’s my fault for not picking up the phone or not going to your stupid fucking bullshit mansion. I wasn’t the one who pissed on everything you offered. I learned way too late that when you keep your hands out, offering friendship, and people shut the door in your face, you should give up and try something else. Well I <em>tried</em> something else. I have friends and a job I like and a decent fucking career, and you don’t know the first thing about me because you only started caring when you thought the world was ending. Fuck you.” Gavin swallowed and swiped at his eyes.</p><p>“…I’m sorry, Gavin.”</p><p>“I don’t even know what that fucking means from <em>you</em>.”</p><p>“It means I want to try,” Elijah said. “It means I’m not going to stop trying after a week or a month or a year.”</p><p>“I could offer to track him down and kill him if he’s lying,” Nathan said from Gavin’s side. He knew the conversation was personal, but he was… worried. Gavin was very stressed and upset.</p><p>Chloe snorted at that.</p><p>Gavin made a half-strangled laugh. “You would, huh? My kind of guy. Although like, we’re cops, so… you know. Don’t go saying stuff like that too much.”</p><p>“Noted.”</p><p>Elijah shook his head. “That good enough for you?”</p><p>“What, his promise to murder you if you break your word or Nathan, himself?”</p><p>“The former, although I would like to know more about how you two started dating.”</p><p>“I like dick and he’s hot and smart, put two and two together.”</p><p>Nathan huffed a laugh at that, although he felt… flattered that Gavin thought he was “hot and smart”. Gavin hadn’t said so before. Two compliments in one night was a good record. Nathan wondered if Gavin was making it up for the pretense, but well… Nathan would always have the recording of Gavin saying it, anyway.</p><p>“We should get dinner sometime. Back home,” Elijah continued.</p><p>“Sure. Fine. I’ll send you my schedule or whatever.”</p><p>The taxi pulled up at the curb and Gavin said, “That’s us. Later Eli. Chloe.”</p><p>“Goodbye Gavin,” Chloe said, quietly. “Goodbye Nathan.”</p><p>“Goodbye Chloe. Mr. Kamski.”</p><p>“I’ll see you around, Gavin,” Elijah called. “Goodbye Nathan.”</p><p>Gavin got into the car first and sat on the side farthest from the house. Nathan shut the door behind himself and the automated taxi drove off.</p><p>Nathan didn’t know what to say. He could feel Gavin vibrating in the seat.</p><p>Then Gavin sniffed and put his face in hands.</p><p>Nathan raised a hand in readiness to place it on Gavin's shoulder, then lowered it. He wasn’t sure if it would be welcome.</p><p>“It’s not fucking fair!” Gavin said, albeit slightly muffled through his hands. “You know how much shit I’ve been through with him? I’m no fucking saint, heck, far from it, but for fuck’s sake, this just… Of all the shit he’s pulled… There were days I could fucking forget he <em>existed</em> and I was <em>happier</em> for it and he just <em>walks</em> in and acts like it’s just me being a little intimidated by his fucking big head! I <em>hate</em> him.”</p><p>“That’s why you hate androids,” Nathan said. “We remind you of him. When you’d rather forget.” Despite the sudden obviousness, he found the rest hard to contemplate. He knew that androids could delete memories, but it was dangerous, and largely did more harm than good, often resulting in anxiety, depression, and something similar to PTSD in humans, depending on the scope and method of deletion. Nathan couldn’t fathom deleting his memories of Connor. It was true that he and Connor didn’t always get along, and sometimes their disagreements had been harsh, and led to arguments. But at the end of the day, Nathan was glad that Connor was his brother, and his friend, and liked spending time and conversing with him. This reminded him of Connor’s comments about Hank, drinking himself to unconscious to forget. How much pain had to be borne to want to forget someone in your immediate family ever existed? To be happier when it was successful? Seeing Gavin in tears and shaking, Nathan… didn’t know what to do.</p><p>Gavin snorted. “I don’t hate androids. I mean, yeah I guess. For that. I don’t… I’m working on it. I know you probably think that’s a load of shit, but…”</p><p>“I’m not asking you for anything, Gavin,” Nathan said, pulling back to the <em>now</em>. “I apologize, I… I merely realized…”</p><p>“It’s fine.” Gavin scrubbed his face. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this shit.”</p><p>“I don’t mind,” Nathan replied. “Like I said earlier, I like learning more about you. About your life. You. I… like… you.”</p><p>Gavin blinked and then slowly looked at him.</p><p>Nathan felt his cheeks warm, but he met Gavin’s gaze.</p><p>“You… like… me?” Gavin asked, quietly.</p><p>“Yes. I do.”</p><p>“How? Like… work partners, right?”</p><p>“Yes. I like working with you. And… as friends?”</p><p>Gavin’s expression twitched and he grinned, “Yeah, friends. A word to the wise, Nathan, if someone ever tries to get you to pretend to date them and then push you between them and their relatives, that person isn’t your friend.”</p><p>“You’re… You don’t want to be friends with me?”</p><p>Gavin blinked, then scratched his neck. “I… I wouldn’t mind… being friends. With you. You seem cool.”</p><p>“I thought I was ‘hot’,” Nathan said, using air quotes, as he’d seen Chris, Gavin, and Tina use, on occasion.</p><p>Gavin laughed. “That was… Well… It… I say dumb shit all the time, figured you’d ignore it by now.”</p><p>“You are a seasoned detective with demonstrated ingenuity and ability, and when you wish, you have quite the ability to navigate difficult situations, whether it’s a crime scene, a busy bar, or a family gathering you don’t wish to attend. And you are funny, and interesting. Why would I ignore you?”</p><p>Gavin swallowed, and Nathan could tell he was blushing. “Fuck, dude, you’re killing me over here. Next thing you know, you’ll be calling <em>me</em> hot and proposing marriage or something.”</p><p>“I don’t believe I’ll be proposing to you any time soon.”</p><p>“You wound me, Nathan. Right in the pin-sized speck that is my heart.”</p><p>“But I didn’t say you <em>weren’t</em> hot.”</p><p>Gavin laughed. “Fuck, the way you say that… Wait, what?”</p><p>Nathan looked at him, half-smiling.</p><p>“You’re just fucking with me now.”</p><p>“I am not. You are very attractive.”</p><p>“Did you drink alcohol or something? You and Chloe knock back some android drugs while I wasn’t looking?”</p><p>“No. I am in full charge of my faculties and took no mood or perception altering substances.”</p><p>“Tina put you up to this. No, Connor did, that sly fucker, he thinks he’s all innocent baby eyes but he’s the slyest fucker around…”</p><p>Nathan shook his head. “Neither of them ‘put me up to’ anything. Although Connor encouraged me to admit my feelings.”</p><p>“…Feelings?”</p><p>“I admit I’m… still sorting through things.”</p><p>“Ah. Okay…”</p><p>If nothing else, Nathan was at least happy that Gavin was out of the pit of sorrow he’d fallen into earlier. Now his expression was a bit confused and nervous, but his eyes were mostly dry, and he was focused on <em>Nathan</em>. Nathan… liked when Gavin focused his hazel eyes on Nathan.</p><p>“I wish it were easier for you,” Nathan said.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Your situation with your brother. I can see it hurts you greatly, and the way forward is by no means easy, but I wish it were easier.”</p><p>Gavin blinked, winced, and shook his head. “…Thanks, Nathan.” Then Gavin looked out the car window, and they were quiet for the rest of the ride.</p><hr/><p>Gavin took a shower when they got back and then fell asleep while Nathan was cleaning himself up. Nathan came out to see the human buried under the covers, turned on his side away from Nathan’s bed, his chest moving easily in sleep. Nathan smiled fondly at the sight and turned the lights off. He lay down on his bed in the dark and stared at the ceiling, wondering what he was going to do.</p><hr/><p>Most of the rest of the trip was quiet, but Nathan felt tense. Gavin stared out car windows or napped or played mindless games on his phone. They were about half an hour from boarding the plane, sitting together in a mostly empty terminal, when Gavin put his phone down and said, “So uh… what are you reading?”</p><p>Nathan blinked and looked at him. Gavin was idly scratching his pants.</p><p>“About a dozen titles. One on the history of woodworking.  Two crime novels. A book on the Japanese artwork collected by Monet—”</p><p>“Wow, so you like art and fiction?”</p><p>“I suppose. I am also reading several histories on different countries and regions of the world. Three biographies, and—”</p><p>“Okay, okay, it wasn’t like… an insult. It’s cool. You’re all well-rounded and stuff. So uh… what do you like about them? If you like them?”</p><p>Nathan considered this. “The current history I am looking at is… not very ideal. I may drop it. The author is too pointlessly personal in stories that don’t involve the figure they are purportedly discussing the history of. I have to wonder how this got past an editor, but then again, the answer is likely the author’s somehow lucrative reporting career.”</p><p>Gavin snorted. “Sounds like a shit book.”</p><p>“It is, I suppose. I have browsed forums for better written books on the same or similar subjects, and plan to move onto them next.”</p><p>“What else you reading?”</p><hr/><p>Gavin fell asleep on the plane again, and Nathan tried not to stare at him too much. He kept remembering the warmth in Gavin’s eyes when he’d asked Nathan what he thought about his reading. It was a pleasant discussion, really. Nathan wanted to continue as long as possible.</p><p>Gavin grumbled and his head flopped to his right, so that it rested against Nathan’s shoulder.</p><p>Nathan tensed, but Gavin didn’t wake up, and Nathan adjusted himself so that he wasn’t jabbing Gavin’s head as much. But Gavin didn’t otherwise move, and his head stayed against Nathan’s shoulder.</p><p>Nathan smiled to himself and continued reading.</p><hr/><p>When the taxi stopped in front of Hank’s, Nathan gathered his duffel and reached for the door.</p><p>Gavin touched his arm, making Nathan pause and look back. Gavin’s cheeks were flushed.</p><p>“Thanks. For… For all this.”</p><p>Nathan blinked. “It was my pleasure, Gavin. I had a good time. With you.”</p><p>Gavin’s blush darkened and his scratched his head. Then he sighed. “Fuck it. You wanna go out some time? No pretense or anything? Just… I dunno… You and me?”</p><p>“An outing? As friends?”</p><p>“I… Well… If that’s… all you want…”</p><p>Nathan’s cheeks warmed. “You… You mean a date?”</p><p>Gavin was staring at his knees. “Yeah?”</p><p>Nathan opened and closed his mouth.</p><p>“I mean I get it if you don’t—” Gavin began.</p><p>“Of course. Tomorrow? That… might be too soon, I guess. The day after? We have work… Lunch break? That would be too short…”</p><p>Gavin blinked and looked up. “You… You actually want to go on a date? With me?”</p><p>“Of course. I… was hoping you ask. I kept thinking up ways to, but they all… I was too nervous. I didn’t know if you reciprocated.”</p><p>“Oh yeah, I… I mean… You’re cool. You stuck by me and… you <em>are </em>hot.”</p><p>Nathan rolled his eyes.</p><p>“I wouldn’t have gotten through this thing without you, weird as it was. You’re a great work partner. And you’re funny. And smart. And I like you, too.”</p><p>Nathan smiled. “Then it’s a date.”</p><p>Gavin smiled back at him. “Yeah.”</p>
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